May 2013
3 posts
FLEXIBLE
A fracas erupted a few months ago (and we all know how painful that can be) when the former search engine and current whatever-they-are-now company WooHoo! got a new CEO who banned flex time work schedules for her employees. The rationale was that working from home reduced the serendipitous office encounters that lead to tech breakthroughs. Fenton and I, of course, handle Hare Link’s...
HIGHER ED
On his first day of work at Dewclaw’s Fine Meats as Rhonda’s assistant, Dip the sheep met Corrie. To say he was surprised to see another sheep at an establishment of predators was an understatement. He was told that Corrie was the company’s IT chief and was responsible for maintaining the entire tech system. It was left for a later date to reveal the Corrie is Kell’s biological niece, the...
TWO OFFERS
With two offers, one from Kell and the other from Herd Thinners, Rhonda had a difficult decision to make. This was made more challenging due to a lack of communication between her and her husband Quinn, who both confided in me. That meant, though, that I didn’t feel that I could betray that trust by setting them straight. Basically, Rhonda thought Quinn wanted her to take the Herd...
April 2013
4 posts
RHONDA'S DIPLOMA
The big event was Rhonda’s graduation from Beige University, after having a stellar career on the school’s hunting team. For the past couple years she had been worried that even those credentials wouldn’t be enough to find employment in a down economy, but fortunately things have picked up just as she’s entered the job market. Normally that would be cause for celebration, but it also...
STUDENT EVALUATIONS
As a grad student I’m assigned various tasks in the department, including teaching freshman level classes. Most grad students take this assignment very seriously as we know how important it is for our futures to make a good impression. I’m no exception. I did my best to improve my communication skills and patience. It helped that when imparting complex ideas I envisioned the class as a...
OMNIVORE’S DILEMMA
Coney’s friend Harcourt grew up in a family vegetarian bears, which isn’t all that unusual since bears pretty much eat anything. Gradually they began supplementing their diet with meat, and while they still like plants they don’t restrict themselves to them anymore. One wonders if the taste of prey brought them back, or just the thrill of the hunt. Now that he’s attending the Happy...
CONEY’S FIRST LIE
An unforeseen consequence of Rudy, Fiona and Wendell distributing Easter eggs cropped up last Sunday when Lin recognized Wendell’s scent on one of the eggs he’d handled. Previously, scent hadn’t been a factor since Wendell is the youngest individual to have ever had the job. (Yes, he’s still an apprentice.) The important thing is, this is the first time children finding the eggs would have...
March 2013
5 posts
GOING SOLO
Rudy’s gained a noticible degree of maturity over the years since we became step-siblings, to which I give Fiona a great deal of credit. However, he still faces challenges concerning impulsiveness and headstrong behavior, so it’s somewhat poetic justice that he now finds himself saddled with Wendell Luckyfoot, Apprentice Easter Bunny.
Despite the species difference, Rudy and Wendell...
URSALS’ RETURN
For many years a retired couple named Ursal lived across the street from our tree in Domain, in a cave tunneled from the side of a small hill. We became close to them, and they were joined by Mrs Ursal’s daughter, son-in-law and grandson. The baby bear’s name was Harcourt, who was Coney’s age. The two toddlers seemed to enjoy playing together. Eventually the whole family moved down to...
START YOUR ENGINES
It was the first MOUSCAR race of the season, and the unveiling of Mark Meadowvole’s car sponsored by Dewclaw’s Fine Meats. This was the Provolone 500, the first event in the Scamper Cup series. Mark finished a respectable seventh. The winner was the perpetual champion Richard Rodent, who has amassed enough trophies to fill an airplane hanger…or his own ego. One has to respect his...
MARCH MADNESS Apparently Rudy is a far too sensitive a soul to acknowledge the normal, healthy relationship of his mother and stepfather. (To see his “mature” reaction on March 6, go here.) That leaves me to report on the situation. Dad is a rabbit in every respect, and that fact is one of the charms that won the heart of Kell. That’s especially true during the month of March, when he...
SURVIVOR
Reading the previous posting, many of you wondered how I knew what was going on with Rudy when the full outcome hadn’t yet been resolved. The answer is that Dad spotted Rudy sneaking out of the house, and followed him to make sure he was safe. All these years of living with predators had obviously taught Dad something about tracking without being seen. When Rudy approached the house of...
February 2013
4 posts
RUDY, RUDY...
I’ve long recognized that my dear brother is in no way dumb; in fact, despite his average grades his intelligence comes out in surprising ways. However, he is undeniably impulsive, and until he learns to rein that in he’s going to find himself in dangerous situations. Exhibit A: He received an E-mail from R.L. offering an internship at Herd Thinners…the firm that just fired our...
YOUNG LOVE
It was Valentines Day at the Happy Little Predator preschool, with the usual assignment of requiring the children to make valentines for every single other classmate so no one gets left out. (Some traditions never change.) Coney’s tigress friend Lin, however, created an extra card…for Coney’s cousin Wendell Luckyfoot. If Lin’s mother the Tiger Mom discovered who her...
LINKED IN ANIMOSITY
So far there’s been no immediate fallout from Kell’s dismissal of R.L.’s buyout offer. The two have been sniping at each other using the weapon of Linked In’s “recommendation” feature, but nothing’s occurred that would cause real damage. That, of course, is only a temporary lull in the battle. If R.L. knows that the rabbits are not only funding Kell, but that Dewclaw’s Fine Meats is in...
BREAKING FREE
In a single moment, the long, torturous relationship between Kell and R.L. came to a permanent end. Even after her dismissal as CEO and the founding of her rival company, there was always the possibility that she would find a way to return to the fold. R.L. knew that, and sought to hasten its arrival while at the same time eliminating a future competitor. The offer he made to buy out...
January 2013
4 posts
BACK TO HERD THINNERS
The recruiting fair was held at the local convention center, and Dewclaw’s Fine Meats exceeded expectations. Kell was able to successfully make the case for immediate advancement to the young carnivores, and came away with top talent coming out of college that R.L. assumed would be his. Kell also took on employees that R.L. had no interest in to begin with, but it was the ones he targeted...
ON THE RECRUITING TRAIL
With the herds having migrated for the winter months, predator companies like Dewclaw’s Fine Meats and Herd Thinners Inc. are still finding ways to stay busy. One task for them is building up their staffs by enticing young carnivores to sign professional contracts. This is done at career fairs, which can get intensely competitive. There’s one coming up this week in Domain, and both Kell...
GILDED CAGE
Aby Eyeshine is still involved with Mark Meadowvole, the mouse who just a year ago was participating in unsanctioned maze races late at night on the outskirts of town. With funding from Kell (then Herd Thinners CEO), he made the leap to the MOUSCAR Scamper Cup series. Although he was only in a few races he captured the attention of a lot of fans. After Kell was dismissed from Herd...
TENDING ANGSTROM
Tammy and Ray, after years of living in the lighthouse off Cape Qualm, NC, finally took a vacation for just the two of them. Fenton and I volunteered to babysit their four-year-old son Angstrom for the weekend while they went skiing at Maggie Valley. Previous babysitting experiences for us were…exhausting. Okay, that’s unfair. Coney and Francis haven’t been so bad when they’ve...
December 2012
5 posts
BAT CAVE
We’re back at Beige after spending a few days at Domain, where this year we crashed with Fenton’s family. When we were first married it was weird going back home and separating to stay with our respective families, especially since we were just a few doors away. However, leaving one family out led to hurt feelings which was awkward since our mothers work so closely together. The solution...
MINI ME TREE
Tree gets into a grumpy mood every year at this time. She used to enjoy being decorated, until she noticed how common the custom is, and how she had to wear outfits that looked like so many other trees. So, we got a room-size artificial tree and decorated that, and now Tree is jealous. There’s no pleasing her. The calling birds, French hens and the partridge are still residing in her...
ON GUARD
Fenton and I drove up to Domain for the weekend, and stayed with our respective families. While I was with mine, we were regaled by bird carolers. Actually, they may have been there to watch over me. I’ve mentioned that I’ve been doing important work for Catherine Aura and her Group, and it appears that there has been some trouble with a renegade flock of starlings. She sent...
FALSE ALARM
The big news for me this week was…no news. Sorta. Sorry if this is getting into Too Much Information territory, but it’s either be honest with you, the readers, or not embarrass Rudy. Rudy loses this one. My cycle is usually steady and reliable, which Fenton says is reflected in my personality. However, I totally missed last month’s period. Okay, I thought; that does happen on...
PLAY RECAP
After Ms. Aura departed she did say she would text us when she reached the coast, but she didn’t. I hope nothing’s wrong. Meanwhile, Rudy did well in the play. Fiona was brilliant in the leading role, and I assume that her previous experience in the public eye helped. I’m sure you recall the time she went around the world fixing the Y2K problem, of which we now know was part of a larger...
November 2012
5 posts
MEETING RECAP
While I’m sure you all want to know about the drama involving Rudy and the school play (I’ve always known that Rudy is a more popular character than I am, which is fine with me since I’m not one who requires a spotlight.), there is some important stuff regarding our recent house guests. Ms. Aura and her cohort stayed for quite some time, and laid out the details required...
WEST HABITAT STORY
Rudy has always wrapped himself up in drama, so it’s somewhat surprising that it’s only now that he’s gotten involved in a school play: the classic “West Habitat Story.” I understand that those of you who read the comic strip only found out about it this week, while in fact tryouts took place two months ago and rehearsals have been ongoing ever since. The play, along with the Hunting...
FINGERPRINTS
11/12: Don’t make fun of Art; I’ve also done that on occasion.
VISITORS
The big event this week was the election, but so many pixels have already been devoted to it that you probably don’t need me adding to the pile. Instead, I can report that we’re having guests over to our house this week, including Rudy’s old Caliban teacher Catherine Aura. She’s been…away…but Fenton and I have been doing some work for her recently. She’s a turkey buzzard and...
TRICK OR TREAT
Despite being the highly stressed head of a struggling startup company, Kell doesn’t want to miss out on Coney’s formative years. So, she forced herself to get home at 6:00 so she could take her out trick or treating. She’d already promised the mothers of Lin and Francis that the three kids would go out together, and they were dropped off at the house after dinner. Francis was a Dr. Who...
October 2012
5 posts
GLASSES
With all the drama over the opening of Kell’s new business, one worrisome question had been hovering over the family: exactly how had Dad some so close to being taken by a cougar? If it hadn’t been for Rudy’s quick response… Well, I don’t want to think about it. (Yes, Rudy also once saved me from a similar fate, but for some reason Dad’s close call bothers me more.) Dad insisted...
SURVIVOR
I was enormously relieved to wake up to the news that Kell’s company survived its first day in business. R.L. had seemingly hit upon the perfect strategy to eliminate his competition before it could gain a foothold, by employing scavengers skilled at stealing carcasses from hunters. Kell normally prefers to have her predators hunt in packs, but with her small startup she had to send them...
lanmikoto asked: Alright Miss Lindesfarne I've got a question regarding your Miss Kell's company. What would happen if instead of a solo-hunt she sent out two predators for each assignment so that they could watch from above and below for scavengers?
OPENING DAY
OPENING DAY I’m writing this at mid-morning on the first day of business for Dewclaw’s Fine Meats. I’m normally asleep at this hour, but I stayed up past dawn in order to observe the big event. The songbird that Kell hired to make sales was as effective as we’d hoped, and that meant a healthy level of commitments to provide prey. The final step was having the predators...
COMING TOGETHER
Amazingly and through a Herculean effort, Kell’s startup company is actually on track to launch on Wednesday. All of the former Herd Thinners employees were tremendously motivated to make it happen, and Kell showed excellent judgment in hiring those few positions that didn’t walk out the door with her on the day she was dismissed. The legal staff was one of those. Being sharks they were...
September 2012
5 posts
MAD CATS
In Kell’s continuing insane dash to get her startup company running before the herds migrate for the winter, she contacted an ad agency to promote its launch. Shredding, Drapes and Curtains is a highly-regarded firm and what’s more, they’ve never worked for Herd Thinners. Their feline creative director, Don Drapes, laid out a strategy of leveraging the existing awareness of Kell’s...
DOOR CLOSES, DOOR OPENS
Kell and Dad came home and immediately announced a family meeting (during which I tweeted updates to the grandmothers at Aby’s Auto Repair, where the entire staff was intensely interested in the news). The takeaway: Kell has been given an enormous amount of funding to create a company that would eventually challenge Herd Thinners for supremacy in offering prey meat to...
MORNING AFTER
I’m not sure how often you humans receive updates, as the time frame seems to be somewhat elastic. At any rate, it’s now been 24 hours since Kell was dismissed from Herd Thinners. Fenton’s mother is also out of work (as are 257 other employees who walked out at the same time). That was about a tenth of the total staff who worked at the HT home office, which of course is just one of hundreds...
BOLT FROM THE BLUE
This is somewhat disjointed, as I’m presently driving from Beige U. back to Domain, feverishly writing during the seconds that I’m stopped at traffic lights. I never, never text while operating a moving vehicle. In a stunning development, R.L. retook command of Herd Thinners and Kell was summarily dismissed. She had kept the board intact because she felt the company needed the continuity, unaware...
SIGHTED
Rudy gleefully took his hard-earned check for growing vegetables that herbivores seem to crave for reasons of pure marketing (i.e., being grown by a wolf). Still, demand is demand, and he needs to consider taking over the whole acreage surrounding the family treehouse…if that’s okay with Dad. Speaking of Dad, Kell did indeed read him the riot act for almost getting killed. She’s...
August 2012
4 posts
CLOSE CALL
It was only hours after the fact that I heard that the unthinkable almost occurred; Dad came within a whisker of becoming prey. My stomach went into freefall at the thought. All these years he’s been practically invincible. and I’ll admit that in my eyes he’s bordered on superhero status. Of course, I’m sure he was terrified the time I was almost the victim of a cougar attack. In both of...
HARVEST TIME
Since Spring, Dad and Rudy have been in a pitched battle to see who can grow the most vegetables on identical acrage of land. The winner will be determined by the total weight of the harvest when they take it to market. As Rudy’s mentor, Dad has conflicted feelings about the outcome. He wants Rudy to do well, seeing some talent in this most unusual of places, but all the same Dad is still...
APPLE FOR TEACHER
As a genetics grad student I actually have to teach a freshman class in Biology 101. It’s a challenge, and for guidance I asked another person in the department who has previously done the same thing. She’s a Border collie named Samantha, who recently got her Ph.D and became an Assistant Professor. She walked me through the process of preparing a syllabus and choosing the proper reading...
OLYMPICS, AND OTHER STUFF
Sam Sewerrat was arraigned and denied bail. He has a court-appointed shark, who’s probably encouraging him to accept any plea the prosecution offers. Meanwhile, we’ve been watching the Olympics which always showcase the abilities of various species in comparison to each other. There are always surprises; for the first time the gymnastics event was won by a flying squirrel. Here at...
July 2012
6 posts
PHANTOM OF THE RACE TRACK
Nobody, absolutely nobody, suspected the depths to which Sam Sewerrat would sink in his quest for revenge again Mark Meadowvole. It was thought that he would instigate some minor disruption of the event, but nothing intentionally murderous. Everyone was wrong. That’s exactly what this sick, twisted individual had in mind; killing Mark outright. Who knows what led him to this pass?...
TALA-MOZZERELLA
As I write this, a big MOUSCAR event is taking place at the Tala-Mozzerella Speedway, about 70 miles north of Beige University. Mark Meadowvole has a new Camaro, again sponsored by Herd Thinners, Inc. He’s qualified for the race and he’s eager to show what he can do. Fenton and I won’t be in attendance, but Dad, Kell, Rudy and Coney are making the longer journey from their house so that Kell can...
secretcheri asked: How is your old friend the moth and the firefly that lived in the lighthouse? :)
Old Friends, Part Two
After writing last week’s blog I decided to finally track down the high school friends of mine who had fallen off my radar, Colina and Cara. I had all of the tools of Internet search capabilities at my disposal, so in other words I had means, motive and opportunity. Finding Colina the armadillo was a little challenging since she had since married and changed her name. It took about fifteen...
OLD FRIENDS
Rachel hustled Coney and Lin into her car at the Herbivore Camp and drove them around the lake to the Predator Camp. (And yes, on the way, many moist towelettes were used to remove Lin’s makeup.) Rachel called ahead, and at the Predator Camp gate the counsellors were waiting for them. The girls substituted purple shirts for the orange ones, and were escorted to their bunks for a major...
Rachel
Some readers have wondered how I’ve known all that’s happened with Coney and Lin among the herbivores. Remember, this isn’t taking place in real time; it all occurred over the course of a few hours last month…in an environment in which surveillance cameras are everywhere. The story is still playing out so I won’t comment on that. I will talk about Rachel Einhorn, my former roommate, who...
